It started with this simple piece of firewood

March 6, 2018 - Tuesday

25 degrees/cloudy/breezy

Pentoga Road

Talk about lazy, that's my middle name this morning. Sargie's off today and the clock was chiming eight times before I bothered to get out of bed. I can't say I was lying between the sheets simply snuggling beforehand. I wasn't. In fact, it was the chiming clock that woke me. I went to bed last night at ten and awakened at eight this morning. Not a bad night's sleep!

Yesterday was my kind of day. After arriving home from my morning walk, I turned the heat on in the shop and with computer in hand, began studying some rather detailed instructions on how best to proceed with making a barley twist from a piece of maple firewood.

The most difficult part to understand was how to grid the piece into sixteen identical rectangles, then using two pieces of masking tape, wrap spirals around the wood and trace the tape before removing it.

The process wasn't that difficult, but I had to keep referring to the plans over and over until they sunk into my rather thick skull. The detailed instructions were like a rock skipping across the water of a shallow pond. 

Bear in mind, I'm the boy who failed simple algebra two times and geometry twice in high school. I finally passed the final mandatory sophomore geometry class the second semester of my senior year just before graduation. 



I've been teased about owning two active laptop computers. I use the relatively inexpensive Acer Chromebook ($175 new) to store any patterns and shop related materials used around my wood working. I value my Apple MacBook Pro ($2,400) far too much to expose it to sawdust and other shop grime.

For my needs, the Acer is perfect.

After drilling a hole lengthwise through the wood, an angle grinder was used to cut through the initial spirals. The hand electric hand tool with a metal cut off blade isn't made to do such things, but it was the only thing I could think of. It worked... sort of.



After lots of blue smoke, literally, the wood was down to the hole in the middle. I had my spirals, big, fat, ugly, spirals.

The rest of the afternoon was spent sanding (and I don't say that lightly.) Every piece of machinery was used if it even looked like it might work. My new spindle sander was effective for a while in widening the grooves, then it was onto the Dremel and multiple sanding drums. In the end, it came down to good old fashioned sand paper. Eventually, the barley twist was complete. 

So what does one do with a barley twist? My first thought is to give it away so the recipient could think, "That's nice, but what do I do with it?"

That would be mean.

I'm down to one of several options. It could be made into a:

* candle stick holder

* stem of a large goblet

* small night stand lamp
* modern art object potentially worth millions

or

* Do nothing. Put it in the unfinished projects drawer alongside Chuckie the Possessed Rabbit so my sons will find it after I've passed away and let one of them wonder what to do with the thing.

Unless Sargie has other ideas, the last option seems to be the best. On the other hand, knowing my ADD - ridden, math challenged, mind, something will pop into my head and I'll continue onwards and upwards.

Seems I never know when to quit. 

Hey, I graduated from high school, didn't I?

After all, a man's work is never done.

So are the tales from Pentoga Road...

I can't understand why Sargie won't let me bring my tools inside the house so I can work where it's cozy warm.